


Crazy to Suppose I'd Ever Be the One You Chose

by kultiras



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Clint/Coulson Holiday Exchange, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluffity fluff, M/M, New Year's Eve, Schmoop, Strike Team Delta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 12:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3068480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kultiras/pseuds/kultiras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>He’d barely even touched Barton when a strange feeling came over him. It was a sense of familiarity, a feeling that this was something he should already know, almost like déjà vu.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crazy to Suppose I'd Ever Be the One You Chose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sealcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sealcat/gifts).



> Sealcat, Happy Holidays! I hope you enjoy this story—I played with some of your prompts and likes, and I had fun writing this for you. =D
> 
> So many thanks to my beta for reading this over as I was writing it. Your cheerleading and help made this story so much better, and I could not have done this without you. 
> 
> Oodles of thanks to the Clint/Coulson Exchange Mods for being exceptionally patient with me as I took eons to finish writing.

“Agent Coulson, we’ve got Strike Team Delta en route to HQ now. I understand that they’re not usually your responsibility, but you’re the only available senior agent right now, sir.”

“Understood, Agent Diaz. What’s their ETA?” Phil quickly finished typing up the email he had started prior to the phone call, and hit send. Despite it being Christmas Day, Phil had been working on things throughout the day, finally clearing out his inbox for the day by sending that message.

“They should be onsite in twenty minutes, sir.”

“Are they in need of medical attention?”

“Sir, Agent Woo reports that they need to report to Medical, though it shouldn’t prevent them from being debriefed. They’re mostly in need of IVs and ice packs. They extraction went relatively smoothly by their standards.”

Phil managed to refrain from rolling his eyes at that comment. If anything could go wrong with a mission extraction, Strike Team Delta would be the ones to deal with the fallout. After the clusterfuck that was the mission in Budapest, the Director had already decided to shift some people and duties around until a Level 6 agent was in charge of handling the team. But that was still a few weeks away from being finalized, and in the meantime, all of the senior agents had been sharing the responsibilities for the Strike Teams.

“Tell Agent Woo that I’ll meet the team in Medical in thirty minutes,” Phil replied. He hung up without waiting for a response, already focused on gathering the materials he’d need to take with him when he met Strike Team Delta.

Half an hour later, Phil was in Medical, meeting Agents Barton and Romanov for the first time. “Agent Romanov, Agent Barton, I’m Agent Coulson, and it’s an honor to meet you both,” Phil began. “I wish it were under slightly better circumstances, but I’m glad the extraction team was able to get to you before anything else could go wrong,” he said, holding his hand out to shake Agent Romanov’s hand.

She shook his hand and replied dryly, “It could have been worse. We may have had to resort to Plan M to get out of there in one piece, but at least we weren’t injured this time, unlike with—“

“Don’t even think about it, Nat,” Agent Barton interrupted her, “You are not saying its name this time. It’s the holidays, we got out alive, we’re getting a break, do not jinx us by saying the name of that place. You know bad things happen when you say its name.”

Phil smiled inwardly upon hearing Agent Barton’s vehement statement, and Agent Romanov rolling her eyes at him.

“It doesn’t always cause bad things,” she said.

“Fine, bad things, weird shit, whatever. Don’t jinx us, Nat.” Barton turned his attention to Phil and held his hand out. “It’s an honor to meet you too, sir. We’ve heard quite a bit about you from Agent Sitwell.”

“Don’t believe half of what he’s said,” Phil cautioned him, as he reached out to shake Barton’s hand.

He’d barely even touched Barton when a strange feeling came over him. It was a sense of familiarity, a feeling that this was something he should already know, almost like déjà vu. Phil blinked and the strange sensation vanished completely.

He shook his head slightly, and pulled out the paperwork he’d brought with him. “If the two of you are ready, we can start with the debriefing,” Phil said.

~*~*~*~

The next day, a knock on the door caught Phil by surprise. Without any new missions or time-sensitive paperwork to deal with, Phil had not expected to interact with anyone until it was time to head out for the following few days of vacation he had lined up. If he were completely honest with himself, he had secretly been counting on not dealing with any SHIELD personnel in his last couple hours of work.

Phil hadn’t slept well at all the night before, seeing glimpses of something in his dreams as he tried to slip into a restful sleep. The more he tried to focus on those glimpses, the faster they faded away, and the more sleep seemed to elude him. In the end, Phil had barely had enough sleep to consider it a decent nap. To say that he was just trying to make it through the rest of the day so that he could try and catch up on some rest was an understatement.

Another knock on the door brought Phil back to the present, as he realized he had yet to respond to the person on the other side of the door. Instead of just replying, he saved his work, and got up to open his office the door.

When he opened it, Phil found himself face-to-face with Barton, one hand still raised, ready to knock again, and the other by his side, holding onto a small sheaf of papers.

“Do you have a moment, Agent Coulson?” Barton asked.

“Of course, I haven’t had anything pressing to deal with since you and Agent Romanov returned yesterday. Is there a problem?”

“Not really,” Barton began, as he walked into Phil’s office. “I just wanted to deliver our paperwork. Natasha finished hers this morning, and already took off.”

“She took off?” Phil asked in confusion.

“Yeah, we were promised a week off starting whenever we got back and turned over the intel,” Barton explained. “Tasha’s been planning her vacation since we left on the mission,” he chuckled.

“Ah, you’re not joining her then?”

“Nah, me and her, we aren’t like that. Plus we’ve been together for weeks now. We may be best friends, but even we need a break from each other every now and then.”

“I see.”

“Anyway, here’s the paperwork from our mission. Like we said, everything was straightforward until it came to actually getting back here.” Clint held the papers out to Phil expectantly.

Phil reached out without paying attention to what he was doing, and instead of grabbing onto the papers, he found himself holding onto both the paperwork and Barton’s fingers. Within seconds, Phil again felt that same odd sense of familiarity that he’d experienced the day before, but it was different this time. Instead of just an odd feeling in his gut, he also felt an echo of those flashes that he’d glimpsed in his dreams.

Biting back a gasp, Phil quickly slid his fingers off of Barton’s and pulled the papers out of the other man’s grasp. Looking back at Barton, Phil noticed him looking from his hand to Phil’s hand and back again, a somewhat puzzled expression on his face.

It was that expression that finally cleared up Phil’s own confusion regarding what was happening. He had never seen it happen in person, but he’d spent enough time in school sitting through lectures on soulmates and the beginnings of bonds to not recognize what had occurred between himself and Agent Barton.

Phil was just about to mention his realization when the other man spoke up.

“Well if that’s all you need, I guess I’ll be taking off too,” Barton said.

Phil blinked back an expression of disbelief at that, surprised and a little hurt that the other man was completely dismissing the potential bond between them. “Will you be traveling somewhere?” Phil asked him in an effort to continue the conversation.

“Nah, I’ve got a place near here. I’m looking forward to sleeping in my own bed,” Barton replied, grinning.

“That’s completely understandable.”

“Anyway, it was nice meeting you again, Coulson,” Barton said.

Holding out his hand, Phil mustered up a small smile. “Likewise, Barton.”

When they shook hands this time, the pull between them, the feeling in his gut, the echoes in his mind, and the sense of rightness that he felt, left Phil with no doubt: Clint Barton could be his soulmate, if he only acknowledged it as well.

But as he watched Barton walk out the door without a second glance back, Phil felt that sense of rightness fade away, overtaken by the certainty that Barton just didn’t want him back.

~*~*~*~

The next day, Phil was even more exhausted, despite having the opportunity to sleep in on his first day of his time off. Like the night before, he kept seeing flashes of Barton. Barton on what looked like SHIELD ops, as a kid, sleeping, just moment after moment after moment relating to Clint Barton.

By the afternoon, he knew that it was no longer something he could ignore. Though Phil knew that most unfulfilled bonds faded with time and potential soulmates were free to move on with their lives without suffering any ill effects, Phil didn't know how it would feel letting the bond exist and fade on its own. It had only been two days, and already the effects of the potential bond were getting stronger and more unpleasant with each day that passed. And given their line of work, Phil knew he couldn’t risk the side effects getting any worse in case there was an emergency.

Pulling out his SHIELD-issued laptop, Phil hesitated momentarily. He needed Barton’s contact information, and without using his SHIELD clearance level, he’d never get it. The thought of abusing his clearance level just to find a way to get a hold of his maybe-soulmate made him cringe, but Phil knew his only other option would be asking the Director for help. And really, Nick’s inevitable reaction to the whole situation meant that asking him wasn’t really an option after all. So abusing SHIELD resources it was.

Thirty minutes later, Phil found himself staring at the buzzer to Barton’s building. He had considered picking up the phone, but ultimately, though he didn’t know what he was going to say to Barton, he knew he needed to talk to him in person about their connection.

Another building tenant headed out the front door, allowing Phil to walk into the apartment building without confronting Barton just then. By the time he had trudged up the flights of stairs to Barton’s place, his exhaustion and frustration had compounded significantly, leaving him angry and upset at Barton for putting him in this position in the first place. If he’d only acknowledged the connection in the first place, they could have mutually dismissed it and moved on, instead of leaving Phil stuck in this unpleasant limbo. As soon as he reached Barton’s door, Phil pounded on it, not letting up until he heard movement on the other side of the door.

Phil felt his anger dissipate the instant he laid eyes on Barton. It wasn’t because they were potential soulmates, or because Phil had suddenly decided to forgive him. It was simply that the sight of Barton looking as miserable and exhausted as he felt, left him completely unable to hold onto that anger.

“Dammit, Barton, why couldn’t you just acknowledge the potential bond and tell me you weren’t interested? There was no reason for us to suffer like this,” Phil said tiredly.

Barton stared back at him in astonishment. “Wait, what? Potential bond…like soulmates? Us?” Barton asked. “Wait, you’ve been feeling crappy too?”

“Of course I’ve been feeling awful. You’ve been ignoring the connection since it formed. Didn’t you ever learn about potential bonds and soulmates when you were younger?”

“No!” Clint exclaimed, “I thought you knew, Coulson—I never really went to school. I had an…unusual childhood, and it didn’t really get any more normal for me as I grew up.”

“I know a bit about it, but I haven’t had a reason to look into your file up to now—I haven’t been your handler on any missions yet,” Phil explained. “I’m sorry I accused you of ignoring the potential bond intentionally, but I honestly thought you knew about it. I saw you look back and forth at our hands after our fingers touched. It never occurred to me that you might be confused by the reaction.”

“I’m so sorry, Coulson. Do you maybe want to come in and talk about it now? I don’t know if it’s too late to do anything about it, but even if it is, I’d kinda like to learn more about it. I know some bits and pieces, but nothing concrete. Or at least nothing important. Plus what I know is mostly from tv anyway, so who knows how accurate any of that is to begin with,” Clint said, giving him a sheepish grin.

“It’s not too late at all,” Phil replied, smiling in return. “And I’d like that too, Barton.”

“You know, you could just call me Clint,” he said, as he stepped back to let Phil inside. “I mean, we’re potentially soulmates, right?”

“Fair enough. You should call me Phil.”

“So what do I need to know about our potential bond?" Clint asked, shutting the door and waving Phil into the apartment ahead of him.

“Well for starters, the potential part’s important. We don’t have to do anything about it, and it should go away on its own eventually if that’s what we both want. Or we could decide to complete the bond, either within the first week—which would both give us a full-fledged bond and officially make us soulmates—or over time, which could be risky for us as SHIELD agents,” Phil explained.

“Risky?”

“Well, I don’t know exactly how a bond strengthens over time; I've never experienced it myself, nor have I watched one happen in person. I've heard it can be intense and often overwhelming, so I imagine it isn’t the kind of thing you’d want to happen while on an op or in the middle of meeting with the Director.”

“Yeah, no kidding. So we have a few more days to figure things out if we can then?”

“Pretty much,” Phil replied wryly. “We should try to make up our minds by the 31st.”

“Well, no pressure then. I think the rest of this conversation will require food though. And possibly alcohol,” Clint added as he grabbed his phone off the coffee table. “What kind of takeout would you like?”

~*~*~*~

Phil and Clint spent the next couple of days getting to know one another better. Though each was private by nature, they found it increasingly easy to talk to the other person, sharing stories from their pasts, thoughts about SHIELD, and even their hopes in the event that they pursued a relationship as soulmates.

Clint asked Phil questions about soulmates based on things he'd heard mentioned, some he'd seen in movies, and others that he'd wondered about since the day Phil knocked on his door. Though Phil didn't have all of the answers, by talking things through, the two men were able to gain a better understanding of their own particular bond.

Despite the fact that their initial window of opportunity for completing their soulmate bond was dwindling, nether Phil not Clint felt pressured to officially decide what they should do. As they continued to grow more comfortable together, their relationship began to evolve. Whereas their first interactions had felt a bit jarring as the potential bond made its presence known, it now felt easier to be around each other. The casual touches that they were at first careful to avoid became second nature to both of them. In short, everything felt right.

Phil knew that they would need to make a decision about whether to complete their bond the next day, or if they would wait and potentially let the bond develop slowly with more time. It was a decision that Phil and Clint needed to make together, but as he gave Clint a hug before leaving on the evening of December 30th, Phil realized that he didn’t know how he could ever let Clint go or live without him as his soulmate.

~*~*~*~

“So it’s New Year’s Eve,” Clint said upon entering Phil’s home.

“Yes. Yes it is.”

“We have a decision to make,” Clint said, squeezing Phil’s shoulder as he moved towards the sofa.

“An important one.”

“You want to talk it over now? Or would you like to wait until it’s closer to midnight?”

“Do we need to wait?” Phil asked him. “I know what I’m inclined to choose. Do you?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I know what I’d like the outcome to be.”

Phil looked at Clint, who was sitting comfortably on the sofa and looking back at him with a hint of a smile on his face. He sat down beside Clint so that he wouldn’t have to look him in the eye as he spoke. Phil took a deep breath and said, I don’t want this to end, Clint. I want to be your soulmate and I want you to be mine too. We could complete the bond today if you’re okay with that, but if you’d rather wait, I’m fine with that too. I just don’t want to let you go. “I know we haven't known each other for long and it should feel like we're rushing into this, but somehow it doesn't. It feels like I've known you for so much longer than a week.” When he finished, Phil finally looked back at Clint, and was nearly floored by the sheer happiness he could see radiating from him.

“I want that too, Phil. I want it so much. You…I never thought that I could have anything like this, anything like you. I can’t let you go and I’ll never want to. If you really mean it about completing the bond, then let’s do it. Because I don’t want to wait any longer for us to become soulmates, Phil. I want this. I want _us_.”

In that moment, Phil couldn’t have stopped himself from kissing Clint, even if their lives had depended on it. As their lips touched, the two of them couldn’t think about anything except the other person and the connection between them. Both men nearly gasped as they suddenly felt their bond solidify into something permanent, something that connected them properly as soulmates.

Clint grinned at him as they pulled away from their kiss. “Maybe we should have waited until midnight for our first kiss.”

“We could have, but I’m glad we didn’t. We can do something different when midnight rolls around,” Phil laughed.

“Oh, really,” Clint replied teasingly, “Just what do you have in mind, oh soulmate of mine?”

Phil felt the echo of Clint’s happiness resonate within himself and smiled back at his soulmate. “Oh, I’m sure between the two of us we can come up with something that’ll make us happy.”

“I’m pretty sure we already did.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song "[What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?](http://www.broadwayworld.com/article/FLASH-SPECIAL-So-What-Are-You-Doing-New-Years-Eve-30-Amazing-Versions-Of-The-Seasonal-Classic-20141231)"

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Natasha Doesn't Need a Soulmate](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3138347) by [Khashana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khashana/pseuds/Khashana)
  * [5 Times Steve Rogers Didn't Complete a Soulmate Bond And 1 Time He Did](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3138557) by [Khashana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khashana/pseuds/Khashana)




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